Ashes and Wine

January 31, 2008 | 7:37 PM

Commonwealth

I've edited my Commonwealth essay for the 23485th time. Now I'm truly satisfied and can confidently say I've done my best :)

Kai Wen has her UOB win(s?).
Dom Tan has his numerous piano performances.
Let me have my Commonwealth title.

January 30, 2008 | 10:28 PM

4E6 08

I began to fall in love with 4E6 08 today.
I do remember the hard times I had to endure alone, struggling in a frigid sea that knew neither shore nor bed. Even in retrospect, those reasons that deterred me from accepting 3E6 07 still remain valid til this day, but somehow, 4E6 is different, thankfully. Most have matured. And I got to know "the right people" so it's pretty awesome.

A lot of us stayed back to do the Chinese New Year decorations. Bon kept playing the horribly cheesey demo tune on the keyboard Zhi Wei'd found while doing CIP =.= It was both amusing and annoying. And Zhi Wei is always singing Avril Lavigne's "When You're Gone", totally off-key. Jokers. Anyway, I helped to paint! Unfortunately it failed to bring out any hidden artistic talent in me.

Deco-ing with 4E6 was fun fun fun:) To my horror, Andre asked Charmaine to send him "Yesterday" by Leona Lewis! I don't know any guy that will like such songs. Well I learnt something new about a classmate today :) Andre and Bon were nice enough to buy watermelon for us from the canteen :)

We were painting and it struck Dom Tan to paint Charmaine's face, then Meng Fei painted Bon's, with disastrous results. In the end, I got a Hitler moustache and Charmaine got very odd facial hair lol. Oooh and we ordered pizza :D And we had sobering tal

The class looks truly wonderful now, yay. I'm gonna miss E6.

January 29, 2008 | 8:41 PM

Religious Hypocrisy

I've speed-read the Satanic Bible authored by Anton LaVey and I cannot agree more with his wise words.
The following is from the Third Book which I found best justified the instincts of humans that the Church pedantically and regularly advocate against, and deem as sins:

1. "Love one another" it has been said is the supreme law, but what power made it so?
Upon what rational authority does the gospel of love rest? Why should I not hate mine enemies- if I "love" them does that not place me at their mercy?
2. Is it natural for enemies to dogood unto each other- and WHAT IS GOOD?
3. Can the torn and bloody victim "love" the blood-splashed jaws that rend him limb
from limb?
4. Are we not all predatory animals by instinct? If humans ceased wholly from preying upon each other, could they continue to exist?
5. Is not "lust and carnal desire" a more truthful term to describe "love" when applied to the continuance of the race? Is not the "love" of the fawning scriptures simply a euphemism for sexual activity, or was the "great teacher" a glorifier of eunuchs?
6. Love your enemies and do good to them that hate and use you - is this not the despicable philosophy of the spaniel that rolls upon its back when kicked?
7. Hate your enemies with a whole heart, and if a man smite you on one cheek, SMASH him on the other!; smite him hip and thigh, for self-preservation is the highest law!
8. He who turns the other cheek is a cowardly dog!
9. Give blow for blow, scorn for scorn, doom for doom - with compound interest liberally added thereunto! Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, aye four-fold, a hundred-fold! Make yourself a Terror to your adversary, and when he goeth his way, he will possess much additional wisdom to ruminate over. Thus shall you make yourself respected in all the walks of life, and your spirit- your immortal spirit- shall live, not in an
intangible paradise, but in the brains and sinews of those whose respect you have gained.

I would very much like to launch into a 1000-over word discussion over this topic of religious hypocrisy, but because most of you my readers will simply glaze over it and yawna and nod in blind assent. I will set to work on my discussion privately for no other reason than self-affirmation I understand wholly and truly what Antan LaVey is trying to convey to everyone.
As mature intellects, you might already have formed, in the very least, a skeletal idea or opinion of this controversy. Perhaps you'd like to share them with me? :)
I'm already hard at work debating over this with Astley. (It's tediously long.)

Astley™ says:
So what is its ultimate purpose?
Astley™ says:
What is the reason for the composition of this book?
6 points and nothing else. VJC! says:
That is on the surface level. If you look deeper into it, its ultimate purpose is to tell humans to stop fearing the idea of sinning, t stop pursuing perfection by the unreasonable margins set by Christianity, and to accept their carnal instincts/desires as they are as completely natural and not to be shunned but celebrated.

Yup. And some more:

Astley™ says:
The LaVey-ian belief is nothing but a mindless contradiction of itself.
Astley™ says:
Nothing more than trash.
Astley™ says:
I'm telling you now, think for yourself.
Astley™ says:
Find out answers, on your own.
Astley™ says:
Without the influence of others
Astley™ says:
Only when you have dropped all ideas and concept about life itself.
Astley™ says:
Then you can find your own answer.
6 points and nothing else. VJC! says:
You ask me to "drop" all these "ideas" and "concept about life" in order to derive a new, unbiased opinion but that is completely obselete. That is because people base their opinions and views on knowledge.
Astley™ says:
If you were to drop everything.
Astley™ says:
And try to think of a answer for it.
Astley™ says:
That is the truth.
Astley™ says:
We all start our lives with the same things.
Astley™ says:
A clean slate.
Astley™ says:
I'm not saying that I already have an answer for it all.
6 points and nothing else. VJC! says:
And it's supposed to stay that way?
Astley™ says:
But I will continue to search
Astley™ says:
Its too late for me to drop everything. I know that all these bits of information is stored in my subconcious. So the only thing left to do is expose myself.
Astley™ says:
Since I cannot clean.
Astley™ says:
I can only organise.
6 points and nothing else. VJC! says:
So you believe that knowledge ruins the "purity" of opinion?
_
Astley™ says:
Why can't everyone have a differing view?
Astley™ says:
After all, aren't we all capable of independent thought?
Astley™ says:
Do we REALLY need someone there to TRY to TELL us what is black and what is white?
6 points and nothing else. VJC! says:
Anton LaVey seeks to liberate the oppressed minds brainwashed and put under a firm control by Christianity. And no, not everyone is capable of independent thought.
6 points and nothing else. VJC! says:
LaVey is not implying order by separating black and white. He simply believes in the natural order of things and thus wrote this Bible to help people understand religious hypocrisy. He is not promoting Satanism as a religion.
6 points and nothing else. VJC! says:
He wants people to believe in themselves, not thrust everything into the arms of God and pray from pews he will settle everything in accordance to the grand master plan he has devised for you and everyone else.

This runs on longer. Not that you'll be interested unless, well, you're interested. Bet only 0.01% of you readers made it up til here. Oh well. Ta.

Edit

Astley™ says:
Put in my message
Astley™ says:
Astley™ says:
That Life itself has a different meaning between each individual. And religion is a pointless concept that only obstructs and interferes
with the logic of Man. That Man is capable of deciphering his own Life without resorting to greater beings. That I am greater than any
other thing out there, as I am present, I am sitting right here, I am the reason for me.
Astley™ says:
Not only that chunk, but the ones before and after that.
Astley™ says:
I sound like an idiot.

Here you go, Astley.

January 28, 2008 | 10:03 PM

My Feat

I antagonised Leong very much today. She was (really crossly) reprimanding someone during A Math today: "I'm not going to print solutions for you like Mr Poh", to which I taunted, deadpan, "Why not?" and received a "Because I'm not Mr Poh!"

To say she was agitated would be a gross understatement. She was completely livid I tell you, and as perverted as this might sound, it was strangely gratifying to me. It was as if she had admitted unwittingly her inferiority to Mr Poh in terms of teaching capabilities.

Can't wait for CNY party at Mrs Keong's house! :D

My skin is in awful condition. Wtf. I love studying but I hate the late nights that come along with it. And all this gum chewing is screwing up my jaw. It nows feels all numb and shit. Wonderful.

January 25, 2008 | 8:43 PM

Pissed off

SCREW LEONG.

I just need some help, is that too much to ask?

"We can't interfere with each other's bands."

Wow, that's a pretty damn awesome arrangement.
Guess I have to start standing on my own two feet huh?

I suppose what Mrs Ngiam said about teachers being "at [our] disposal" this year doesn't really apply in A Maths.

I must reiterate how awesome it is.

January 19, 2008 | 3:44 PM

Now you'll always be first on my agenda

I've checked out Cambridge Trinity Hall and done the math.
I need approximately S$60,531 a year to study in England.
I've consulted my mom, who recoiled slightly when I asked if it was expensive. To which she said, Yes, very, "so you better try to get a scholarship".

And try I won't, because do I will.

This post marks the last day of my being online unneccessasarily.

6 points, here I come, because I know I can do it.

January 18, 2008 | 8:20 PM

The brave are those who sacrifice their own happiness gallantly and unflinchingly for that of others.

January 15, 2008 | 7:51 PM

I know I really should be doing my Five Year Series now but I just wanna share something with you guys.

I strongly believe that Leona Lewis' song Bleeding Love is about a woman who got a miscarriage. (Not that I have something with miscarriages, for those who've read my Commonwealth essay)

No, really. I now present to you evidence.

Closed off from love
"closed off": abstinence from sex

I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
she could be referring to the times when she had close shaves with pregnancy

And it was all in vain
"it": protection during sexual activities. "in vain": didn't work, she got pregnant

Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
"frozen": made inanimate, with nowhere to run

But something happened
For the very first time with you
She got pregnant the first time they did it w/o protection

My heart melts into the ground
Found something true

And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
"going crazy": because they wonder why she wants to be an unwed mother

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
They think the guy's a bad influence/to be blamed for her pregnancy

But they don't know the truth
the truth: that she really wants to keep the baby they made together
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
"love": making love: making babies. She's referring to getting an abortion

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
(in retrospect): they were the ones who had pressured her into getting an abortion

Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
falling into trouble since raising a child would be difficult and they doubt the father's credibility

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
"loneliness": now that she's w/o child

I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe
"going crazy": trauma from the abortion, maybe?

And it's draining all of me
She feels tired, and guilty for killing the foetus
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
Scars from the abortion procedure (let's say you can get an abortion w/ Caesarean or something.)

Well, what do you think?

January 14, 2008 | 7:15 PM

Hermit Crabs

Brought hermit crabs to school! Ying Yin, Kai Wen, Charmaine and Dom Tan were pretty fascinated by them (frigging gross). Apparently, they survived the turblence on board the ferry and were very much alive in the classroom, extending from their shells and crawling about. Yuck. When I tried to dig one out of its shell because it looked dead, Dom Tan, of all people, in most hilarious irony, told me that I was "worse than Satan".
I shall not elaborate more, because WE ALL KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOM TAN IS.

January 11, 2008 | 7:17 PM

Fast forward it to 1:38. Elmo says "Yeah, bitch!" at 1:46.

Man, this made my day.

| 5:39 PM

Hell of a week

There has never been a more exhausting week in my entire life.
And it's only the second week in 10 more months of such strenuous studying.
My Blueberry Nights pretty much screwed up my sleeping time but it was worth it. But I felt slightly cheated because a) Rachel Weisz had less than 20minutes of screen time and b) Natalie Portman actually upstaged her. Norah Jones was shit. Jude Law was.. well, alright.
Ms Ow (English) didn't bash my essay after all, I was really hoping she would so that I'll learn. Can't wait to get it back.
Ms Leong Pei Zu ... ... ... ... You know I know lah.
Mr Poh is regularly exasperated by some assholes in 4E6 who still, apparently, have not woken up to the reality of the approaching O's.
Have been so tired and lacking so much sleep my face is breaking out again, fantastic. It'll be a sleepfest this weekend and hopefully I can unwind by reading Middlesex again.

Sec 4 students should have 30 hours a day, enough to sleep and enough to study AND revise.
I wonder if we can stay overnight in school? You know, to save time and all. I don't mind, as long as I get a semi-decent bed. And air-conditioning.

Mrs Ngiam: Whose facial botter is that? Better clear it ah. Even after blotting your face you don't need to blot the floor!

To P and D: Laughter and telling lame jokes on Fridays are part of my defence mechanism when I'm under stress.

*

I told Miss Ow, "I aspire to study Lit at Trinity Hall."
Miss Ow, "Then you'll have to start working very hard."

She was rather taken aback.

January 6, 2008 | 11:30 AM

Most Amusing Thing That Happened To Me Today:

"And yea, I heard Coach telling Ling Han that he (LH, uh, this girl from ZHSS calls him Miloman) and this random guy should be in the SEA Games (I think, if I'm not wrong, it's so wrong to eavesdrop -_-)"

"(LH, uh, this girl from ZHSS calls him Miloman)"

Hahahahahaha. I found this on an ex-gym-trg-mate's blog by chance. The girl in question is Valerie:)

And I found out her name is HuiEn. We used to think it was Diana, for some forgotten reason. And Valerie once told me she wrote a book that's on the shelves in Popular.

Apart from this hilarious discovery and Flag Day, my life's ben pretty stagnant.
Flag Day was totally crazy (damn, a pity P couldn't join us), Valerie joined us (for fun) and we visited .. places :) And a lot of craziness as usual. Returned to school late as a result of visiting certain.. places and Valerie sneaked in wearing a black t shirt and jeans. Because we realised she needed a sticker to prove she's "allowed in", she tore up the Flag Day sticker to make it resemble that.. And it worked!

Gym had just ended and oh I saw Nicholas! After like a gazillion years since last CNY I think and he hasn't changed much. Then Dom Tan had to leave because his aunt was dying, so V and I were left and we went to N&B to uncover the enigma behind the cryptic name.

I'm going to study for the whole of today. I realise constantly on my mind are only scoring at least 4A1's and entering CJC. Something keeps telling me I'll get 11-13 points but I know I can change it.

Because the end is only as worthy as the journey.

January 4, 2008 | 9:36 PM

Went back to Bishan yesterday, and trained, impromptu, because I happened to have my P.E. clothes with me, and Valerie was extremely supportive :)

Training felt like going home. It has been so long since I've trained there and yet I still love it like I used to. It's sad to hear Megan, Vanessa and a few other girls complaining they don't have the passion to train competitively for gymnastics. Megan, especially, because apparently Sarah Ng (her cousin) told her national gymnasts have zero life outside the gym.

If presented with a chance to turn back the clock and start training from young and I qualify for the team, I'll join, no qualms, unflinchingly. Gymnastics will be my life :) I don't care if I sleep less than 5 hours a day just so I can train and study.

Well, I'm just saying. Who knows if my mind will change if I really had a taste of being in the team and training 30 hours a week.

Anyway, we did killer conditioning on the beam. When I say killer, killer is killer, like how Huang Lao Shi told us to do FIFTY roundoffs. But killer conditioning on beam is the worst.

I could barely walk properly today. You know that path among the field towards the back of Bradell Heights CC? Yeah, I nearly fell off of it and into the mud. It was crazy, man.

Know what's worse than killer conditioning? Having fucking Flag Day while your thighs are still fucking wobbly.

Anyway Desmond Chong guarantees his students score at least an A2. Hmm.
And I miss Mr Poh for A Maths.
And there's been a constant increase of ah lians being admitted into ZHSS. And the guys are getting shorter. And nerdier.
And ZHSS canteen food suck. Friggin unhealthy, man. I'm not eating enough vegetables in school. And everything's carb-laden. No actually, everything's carbs.
And why were our Sec 1 camp shirts so fucking gross and cheap compared to this (or last) year's?
And I'm totally drained. Legs have really died.

January 2, 2008 | 7:09 PM

First Day

I got through the first day of school with neither a major mishap nor major complaint about the new principal, but got sufficiently irked by the banding of A Maths classes with 4E7.

Ms Leong is taking my band and she seems awful. Dom Tan was lucky, Mr Poh would be taking his band. Oh man. What do you think will happen if I skip Leong's SSPs to infiltrate Mr Poh's? :D

Mr Poh forever, and Kai Wen agrees with me wholeheartedly. Mrs Ngiam as form teacher is bloody awesome. Congrats to 4E3 who will be having Gim Hua for History. (Good Luck.)

January 1, 2008 | 9:33 PM

Sexy Red Vaio

Am now using my new sexy Red Vaio notebook.

WOOHOO!